christina_blog

i don't know why but i think it's time to close down this blog once and for all.  there were pasts which i hated to be reminded of  because i am totally not proud about it. plus it's kinda of a pressure when people come up to me and say, " hey, you look thinner from your blog last time". WTF, that is killing me. i don't need you guys to remind me i am not longer gorgeous okay? the hideous character shall disappear, return or not it all depends on my unforeseeable life. yeah, i only like sharing positive and happy moments. my blog goes empty when i am wretched.

goodbye(:


//updates

goodness, LJ don't seem to have "cancel account" option. arghz!! i want to delete this whole blog!!

Saturday is the nicest day of the week because you don't have to bother about tomorrow.
naturally, everyone sane person is dying to flee out of the house to party or chill out but not me.

because...


i am just being myself today. life is taking on its toll recently and my energy drains. After working so hard in school and for life, it's time to reward myself by having the freedom and peace on my own. Block out from the outside world, without comparison everything seems absolutely beautiful.

i really need a break to get myself pamper at home. no place is as relaxing and comfortable as home. the only private place where you can have all the freedom with your time, do anything to your liking and get away from the outside world.

I decided to gave myself a generous destress treatment.

1) I washed my body thoroughly in every directions with strawberry favoured shower gel.
2) uses the lavender scented scrub to rub away those dead skins. 
3) applied layers of lotions on every inch of my skin lavishly and lied naked, waiting it to seep into my skin.   
4) lied flat on my bed, facing the air-con and let it blow dry my facial mask ( can't stop staring at the pealed off nose mask when all the blackheads stuck there)
5) listens to classical music while i engrossed in my book at the same time
6) eat fruits, shake legs , watch GUESS x 3 and laughed my heart out
7) afterwards, i gotta hit the bed get my 15 hours of beauty sleep





that's more like chilling out, getting relaxed and no talks. i am happy now(:

 like i promise to myself, i had to update what's been happening recently though what i did these days were quite repetitive. i shall keep it short and sweet. btw, project four has ended, i wouldn't say life is going to be better because who knows i gonna suffer more during SIP.

boring stuffs

i procrastinated for 3 days to get myself started on the project 4
i took approximately one week excluding 10 hours of sleep everyday to accomplish the given task. (go calculate)
i only ate one meal per day because it's already half past 3 when my eyes willing cracked open.
i had skipped school almost everyday ever since it started, only show face on the first day and last day of presentation.
i am pretty excited about my attachment that begins on the 30 of july, in 6 days time.

crap stuffs that i went through everyday

It's been a stupid cycle where my mum and i bickers twice everyday.
i step on the weight machine countless times, times after my mouth does any chewing and swallowing.
i have to daydream of myself being slim and pretty when i woke up in the morning and before going into deep sleep. or else i'll insomnia.
i cursed a person almost every single minute when i am doing nothing. it really isn't easy to hate one person.
it is becoming a habit that opened and closed my refrigerator whenever i walk into kitchen.
my mum starting to develop weird actions as we became closer. trying to get involved in my own activities. she stares at me when i pluck my armpit hair. she kpo who am i talking to when the msn box pops up. pretend that she knows what i am doing, like illustrating.

funny stuff

always handle penknife carefully or else your plight will be like this...like steph



hahas, i have no idea how her flesh being cut apart, according to her expression it's extremely painful. it's funny that she wailed at the mere thought of doctor stitching her flesh.  
smarty her, she used the cigarette filling, wrapped it around on her finger and amazingly the bleeding stops.


my stuffs

yup, this is what make me stayed home for everyday yet i am not satisfied because i know there's imperfections in my workmanship and illustration. i aimed high for this project, guess my goal gonna crush.

okay, here's a short and uninteresting summary i got, good night.

no mood can?

 as much as i want to blog tonight, i am dead tired after all this hard days so please allow me to go missing for one more day and i promise to return with plenty updates.
goodnight everyone, stay tuned here because it going be more happening than ever.

 i have so much to say now but time doesn't allow me to. 

 i am actually dead tired for the fact i slept at 7am this morning and only manage to catch 4 hours of sleep before my day started. my feet are screaming for rest after they get exercised around town. -_______-  

let's talk about my thoughts whenever i can't get sleep. my biological clock is screwed up due to my irregular sleeping hours. i became abnormal because of that. why? because my brain generates massive thoughts and dreams in wee hours and scarily i am like a walking dead meat during the day. i practically can't think of anything logical and commonsensical. ultimately i feel like a retard when the clock is ticking PM.


so what i was saying earlier my thoughts i had in my mind. those big ideas only surfaced up when my brain cracks at midnight and my body is too exhausted to do anything about it.

1) paint the wide stretch of wall in my room, the beginning of refurnishing my room

2) start up a blog shop -___________ - it seems very far-stretched now though but somehow i gonna make it work. just wait and see, don't chuckle

3) buy myself 4 cookie jars. one for holiday trip, one for school fees, another is my life-time saving and last for my girl's expenses.
i shall deposit some notes into each jar everyday and save up slowly. it's way better when you save everything in a coin bank and withdraw everything at one go. * pooof * here go all your efforts. this way of saving is more visible thus effective.

4) i dream, i daze about how my life can be better if i am lighter. i wish, i pray that i could carry out my diet when the sun rise again. for my life, the most hardworking time i had was spend time in thinking how to slim down and eat lesser, avoid events that make me gobble sinful foods. no matter how much i think, it is only working out in my brain not my body. :'(

5) the rest of time i will reflect on myself, hoping to be a better person everyday. i am still looking for my true identity. what do i really exist for? 


all these above, i would then keep them in my mind till morning, wish to remember part and parcel of it so that i can execute my plans. BUT this never happens. sad to say, i have been living in my dreams for 7 years.